Flying first class did not prevent the inevitable sinus infection; I am moping around in my parent’s pantry, using the dial-up connection to erratically answer email as I drink coffee out of my dead grandpa’s cup.
When my children reminisce about their early years they often puzzle over the particulars of the memories: Mama, do you remember that dinner… museum exhibit…. train ride….?
They have traveled so much, lived in so many different places, it can take quite an effort to sort out which town or country they are referring to. Venice, Trento, Tallinn, Paris, Nice, Berlin, Frankfurt, London, Edinburgh, NYC, San Francisco, Los Angeles: the list spools. Did they go with me to Zurich, Granada, Prague, Toronto, or a dozen other places? None of us can quite recall.
Whereas almost anything I remember before age twenty-one took place in a very small geographic area – a forested strip of land between two mountain ranges in the Pacific Northwest.
Four restaurants, one movie theatre, no access to museums whatsoever; it was a big deal when KMart came to town. We stood in line for free commemorative tshirts.
Neither experience is better, or worse, than the other. I gave my children the life I dreamed of growing up in a small town. They are consequently cosmopolitan – but both wish for new, different, unexpected lives of their own.
My parents still live in the house they built in 1976. My childhood bedroom is intact, with all the books and dolls sitting exactly where I left them on the shelves. I have boxes in the attic, furniture in the garage, Tonka Toys in the shed.
Most of my surviving relatives still live in the county, still call on each other for help or advice or to celebrate graduations and births. No matter how far I wander, I have
a place – a home – to return to. I wish that I could provide my children with the same.
I don’t want to trade away the life we have now. I just want everything to be a little bit easier.
The first and most important goal for this trip: visit the relatives. I have a new cousin! I wish his grandpa could have met him:
