When I walked into the pub Rachel hollered Bee! Bee! Will you make out with me and ruin our friendship??
I laughed and said No!
During the course of the evening she inevitably seized my phone to send racy text messages to faraway friends. Then to make things really interesting she called a friend in California to talk about the penis of a mutual acquaintance.
No, the two ladies have never met. And I doubt either has direct knowledge of the penis in question.
In her texts Rachel informed assorted people that we were having sex in the bathroom which is of course a blatant lie; somebody else was, but not me! I care about hygiene. Just so you know.
How did I contribute? Hmm. I seem to recall telling the wealth of Williams about a dinner party that ended in a conquest for a certain academic…. and my storytelling skills were sufficiently graphic (and loud) that it cleared a strip of tables around us.
Though I disappointed Rachel with the fact that I have no local scandals or gossip to relate since even the most wicked of the crew have been behaving since she departed.
When I wished everyone a fond goodnight Rachel surveyed the evidence and exclaimed You even have a hot ass!
I retorted I have a hot everything! Then flounced away toward the river.
As Sarah always asks, how exactly does that girl get away with so much? Quite a mystery. Though Cambridge is way more fun when she is in town.