I spent the day wandering in a state of grief, which is interesting since I never used to have appropriate and timely emotions. When the time difference allowed I finally got ahold of my mother, working somewhere in DC.
I asked if I should try to find a flight back and she replied No. There is no reason to come home.
Seven siblings, all gone except my mother. I have no aunts or uncles. How many cousins are left? Hardly any. I grew up in a huge family, now decimated. This is bewildering.
We talked for awhile and then I said I’m sorry.
She said There is nothing to be sorry about.
I replied It all sucks.
My mother said Yeah, it all sucks. She would have been 49 on the 31st of this month. I knew she would never see fifty.