Anika is opening a branch of her business in London and flew in from Seattle last night. We met at Trafalgar Square, and when asked what she might like to do, the reply was I need socks, and a haircut!
Fair enough, and honestly, this is the best kind of guest – concrete goals are easy! We set off toward Covent Garden, everyone chattering away, and both goals were accomplished easily with stops at M&S and Hair by Fairy.
It was barely noon when I asked what she wanted to do next, and her answer was predictable: Let’s get a drink!
I guided the group to the pub at Seven Dials, where we had a rollicking discussion about life in the UK, much to the consternation of Damian, who will be heading up the office. He lives in Sammamish, for goodness sake. Now that will be an epic culture shock.
Everyone would have been happy to stay there but I’m too pragmatic for such antics, and pushed the group out the door to eat lunch on Brick Lane. My stateside friends were bemused at the typically hostile service, but three years in this country has toughened me up. Menus smacked down, strange attitude, shouted complaints? Standard! The fact that the toilet was flooded? Also completely ordinary for an English restaurant.
What was not normal? The fact that the waiter, at the end of the meal, asked in a very concerned voice Was everything ok?
-Yes, I replied, amazing!
He cocked his head and said You haven’t been here in ages.
Surprised, I told him that I’ve been traveling. Who knew that the dudes at the restaurant recognize me, and care if I fail to turn up!
We wandered through Shoreditch in the sunshine chatting and laughing. At one point we were in the restroom at Vibe Bar and Anika commented in her bright western voice I think it is a fantastic plan to store the toilet paper on the floor!
As we walked out to rejoin the others she stopped in front of a vending machine that dispenses sex toys, exclaiming in shock Ten dollars for a cock ring?! That is fucking insane! How do you live here?!
Good question, really. I guess the answer is – because I can, and because I am easily amused.