For those who have a prurient interest, here is the menu for the overwhelmingly organic, free range, locally sourced, ambidextrous (carnivore, vegetarian, vegan, gluten free – you all have an oft-replenished seat at my table) feast. Made by my own hands, no shortcuts. Scaled to serve at least sixty:
Starter:
Bread, cheese, olives, pickles
Main:
25 pound turkey
10 pounds mashed potato
Candied sweet potato
Stuffing
Gravy
Spicy green beans
Brussels sprouts
Beet & cabbage slaw
Green salad
Pasta salad
Cranberries
Dessert:
Apple crumble
Pumpkin pie
Ice cream
Whipped cream
No, I’m not a masochist.