I do not make New Year resolutions but yesterday I arrived at a momentous decision. Brace yourself.
Over the last four years I have given up coffee, red wine, and hair dye. Now I am repudiating the one remaining addiction I revel in. After all, if my friends can kick heroin or crack, I can certainly take the withdrawal of my daily bubble fix. Right? So I did it. I made the choice. I’m now twenty-four hours into my seltzer sobriety.
Who knows how long it will last – I may weaken and succumb even later tonight. But at least I am making the attempt. For those who do not know me in real life, this is a huge thing. I’ve dragged bottles of sparkling water on public transportation in a dozen different countries. Carried such heavy bags my arms were bruised on long brutal hikes across all manner of terrain no matter what the weather. Six liters every single day!
In Portland I used an ancient VW van as my recycling center, and it was always full to bursting. In all other houses my residence has been declared by the extraordinary amount of recycling in the bins.
Nowadays no matter how hard I work to haul it away, every storage cupboard on the boat is stuffed with empty bottles. I love the stuff. More than any food, or cinnamon jelly beans, or cute fluffy kittens. When I don’t drink it my skin cracks and bleeds, but hey – maybe I can switch to plain? Cause who knows what the carbonation is rendering to my innards, would be the logic. Or something. I think I need to go drink some more tap water now.
Happy New Year!