Earlier this week my kid went on a field trip to the Houses of Parliament. The class was scheduled to be back at six in the afternoon, and since they are always late and I am always early I took up a perch at the pub across the street to wait.
I was minding my own business and reading a newspaper when one of the other parents from the school materialized at my left elbow to invite me to join a group of folks waiting for their children. Mystified, I followed her to the other room, where I found myself ensconced in a merry little scene lasting no more than fifteen minutes and including all manner of bewildering exchanges, not least the fact that these people talked to me.
For the first time ever.
When the children arrived all the parents rushed away except the one who had extended the initial invite. I must have looked as baffled as I felt because she turned to me and said Those are the most standoffish people I’ve ever met in my life.
I laughed and said I thought the aloofness of the crew was down to their being British, but she shook her head and pointed out she shares that characteristic but still manages to be polite and friendly.
This presented an etiquette problem; how to discuss the fact that the other parents have often been quite rude, when I did not know the woman I was speaking to? The problem was solved by the person in question reciting a list of grievances against the culture of the school – a very nice place for the children but wintry and vicious for many of the parents.
I spent a lot of time shaking my head in wonder; she assured me that even after the pub invitation, nobody would look me in the eye let alone talk to me next morning at the school gate.
Of course, she was right – back to being a pariah instantly, hurray!
I’ve really appreciated this aspect of life in the UK; back in the states people always expected me to, you know, stage fundraisers or run the school or whatever. Here everyone thinks I’m suspect (and dirty) and subsequently I have lots more spare time. Though the pub encounter has had one unexpected side-effect: I seem to have made a friend. She even invited me over for dinner this weekend.
This is the very first time a non-academic local has extended such a courtesy. What a peculiar town.